So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
