the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
