Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
