Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
