Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
