if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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