Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
