# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
