Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
