just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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