I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
