Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
