ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
