whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize