R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
