My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
