Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
not ubering you a puppy
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
