We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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