I can text with my tongue
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
