Non-Jews are for practice
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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