I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
