angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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