Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
