do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
