But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I supernannyed him into submission
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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