My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
