dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
