names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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