and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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