you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Panties = found
Randomize
