I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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