how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize