so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it was like having sex with a tree stump
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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