I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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