i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
