i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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