you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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