i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
