you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
