i jhust puked up my retainher.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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