i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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