oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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