That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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