im about as happy as oj after his trial
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
