Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
