HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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