Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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