I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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