My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
