Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
try to milk me bitch
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