I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
