Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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