she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
