Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
