I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
