38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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