there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
