Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize