I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize