I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize