I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
