Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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