Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We need to rekindle our bromance
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
