Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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