i think i have herpe
just one?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
