if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
