When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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