Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
